For the Rest of Us
by her-eyes-fiery-pinpricks
Summary: -KKI Honorable Mention- "Okay, well, get on with it! What are we supposed to do?" Finn smiles. "Thank you. This is the part of the night where we do the Airing of Grievances. We say how the people here have disappointed us." Exclaims from all. Except for Amanda, who just shouts over the madness. "Ah well, that's easy. I'm sick of you all. We're always together. The end."


**even though we're outside the festivus season (I think)**

**SO I did a oneshot this last weekend and it turned out terribly, so im publishing my winner of runner-up for this holiday's KKI fanfic challenge. Im very proud of this one, this is the best one that I put up on the site :P**

**so this could fit into igy but I needed to separately publish at least one oneshot this summer. Im kinda scared bc im facing a shortage of ideas so that could mean one of two things—crappy oneshots or im publishing a lot of chessy chess**

**I didn't change this from when I wrote it in december. I needed a quick upload. And plus I already liked it the way it was. its very talky but this setting kinda needed that**

**GUYS its been a year since firebrand and daylight ? lol**

**not sorry for the title or the fanfic even though its cheesy and I hate cheese but not when its in a fanfic!**

**For the Rest of Us**

Not one of them have glanced at an episode of _Seinfeld_. Master of the House, otherwise called Finn, had watched the necessary clips. December 23rd was to be a dry night, devoid of funny references. No memories to make. Planned for disaster.

The Keepers had gathered in the dining room and sat down after twenty or so minutes of milling around. Finn stands at the head, ready to commence the Festivus festivities. A metal pole from Crazy Glaze's cellar stands to the back and right of him, with a Nativity, Menorah, and Kwanzaa candles surrounding it.

"Why is that even there, anyway?" Jessie asks Finn, reaching for another pizza slice.

"It's like the tree of Festivus."

"Well, no decorations?"

"That's the point."

"What is this holiday anyway?" Charlene inquires.

"It's special. I make an attempt to be festive and fun and host a unique holiday at my house, and this is what I get! I'm getting shot down! So many questions."

"This isn't exactly popular," Maybeck replies.

"Exactly! You should've done research."

"Schoolwork is that last thing I want to do," Jess complains.

Willa nods, mid-bite in her pizza. This isn't usual, she's denying work. This year had been a strange one, and just about everyone was ready for a break. Even Philby.

Amanda gets their attention. "Okay, well, get on with it! What are we supposed to do?"

Finn smiles. _"Thank you. _This is the part of the night where we do the Airing of Grievances."

"What are grievances?" Maybeck asks.

"We say how the people here have disappointed us."

Exclaims from all. Except for Amanda, who just shouts over the madness. "Ah well, that's easy. I'm sick of you all. We're always together. The end."

"It's usually the head of the house who complains, but I'd think it'd be interesting if we all did it." A sly grin grows on Finn's face.

"You seem to be enjoying this!" Jess says.

"I am."

More commotion.

"OKAY! We start with Philby."

He's on the right of Finn, sitting next to the sisters. He falters. "Um…uh. I don't know."

"Come on!" Finn encourages. "Mayb—WE had to have annoyed you at some point this year. The year before. Since we first met."

"Yeah, by our dumbness," Maybeck says distastefully.

"I don't know. I guess Jess has annoyed me, nagging me all the time for homework."

"WHAT?" Jess's agape. "No. Dude. You could understand!"

"I can't spend my whole night texting you about math. I've got stuff to do too."

Willa's gaze sharpened when he mentions_ texting_ and _all night_. She eyeballs Jess, envious.

"You're not the one having random trances in Algebra. We're done talking about this." She flips her black hair. "I, for one, want to complain about Philby, for never explaining to me the answers."

Philby presses both lips together.

"MY TURN." Amanda steals the spotlight.

"You already did it," Maybeck says.

"Yeah, there's more where that came from. Finn never takes me out anymore. Don't know why. He won't tell me."

"We're practically together every minute of the day!" He sighs. "You wanna make it special by going out?"

"You know me."

"Fine, then. I'll take you out more."

"Thanks, hun."

"Maybeck?"

"I would like to point out how Philby is always leaving me hanging. With everything."

"He does it to you, too?" Jess asks, pleasant surprise in finding a common annoyance taking over her expression.

"Sorry for doing everything else right and carrying each mission and doing all the techie stuff!" Philby's exasperated.

"You guys forget, I was the computer techie from the beginning." He lazily points his pizza slice at all of them. "Then it was never brought up again. I could've done all that, but no, I'm stuck with Charlie doing all the physical-running-flips stuff."

"Oh, you love doing all that with me," Charlene comes back.

"That's right, I do," Maybeck says. That did not come out right.

"Speaking of being placed wrong, it's on my end too! Always the gymnast stuff. Don't get me wrong, I like that. But once and a while, give me a break!"

Charlene was able to hear Amanda mutter almost noiselessly over the noise, "Yeah, and let the world crash down."

"Hey!" Charlene responds.

"I would like to complain about Charlene having freaky dog-like hearing."

"Cool it!" Charlene starts to stand up.

"Festivus was never meant to start a fight…" Finn shakes his head.

"It's my turn," Willa says. All heads turn to her. It was strange to hear her voice after all the fighting. She was just sitting there eating her pizza. "You guys complain too much."

"I'm never coming to a holiday here again," Jess shakes her head.

"Now you know who to thank for that," Amanda points her pizza at Charlene. The blonde fumes.

"Yeah, what's after this? Is Festivus even a real thing? Is this a prank? Is _Seinfeld_ even a show?" Maybeck questions.

"NOW IT'S THE FEATS OF STRENGTH." Finn says, trying to cut the tension. "Now I need to challenge one of you to wrestle me."

"When is it over?" Charlene whines, putting her head in her hands she props on the table.

"When you pin my head to the floor."

"Okay, I'll do it." Amanda gets up. "Let's go."

"NO! No, I'm scared of you."

"You all are."

"JUST MAKE ME DO IT," Maybeck says. "I can make it over real quick."

"NO, I'll get killed."

"That's kinda the idea."

"Why don't we cut this part out?" Willa says.

"Yeah, and talk about fluffy things and happiness?" Philby says.

The world stops. "THAT'S IT, YOU JERK."

And now everyone was forever and always scared of angry Willa.

"YOU'VE BEEN A JERK AND YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STARTED THIS," Willa continues, eyes wide.

Jess sings, frightened. "We know it's getting bad when Willa gets mad."

"EXACTLY. Which is why we should make her pummel Finn," Amanda suggests.

"Can we please cut this part out?" Philby asks.

Finn shouts. "Yes. YES. _YESSSS_!"

He plops down in the chair at the head. Completely and utterly defeated. "I should have never planned this."

Amanda's about to come back with some remark, but she kills it. They all do. A minute of collective silence does a lot to their anger.

Why must _everything_ be messed up? This isn't even a mission. A party. A fake, stupid holiday with no point at all. They can't do it.

Then she finally speaks. "We must love each other a lot…to beat each other up like that."

They all seem to nod at the same time.

"This isn't that bad," Jess says slowly.

"Yeah," Maybeck says. "This is fun. We should do it more often. I like it better than Christmas."

"Really?" Finn looks up from his sulking. He lights up.

"Yeah, dude."

"I don't like getting mad," Willa says, small. "It's not fun."

"I like little teasing better," Amanda says. They've reached a breakthrough.

Charlene comes out of hiding. "Yeah. This is better."

Philby laughs a bit. "I like this a lot better."

Silence. They eat more. Finn feels a whole lot better.

"Thanks, guys. Happy Festivus."

"Make this a yearly thing?" Amanda asks.

"Yeah," Finn says, getting ready for the sappy and sweet ending. "Yeah. We kinda made our own Festivus."

**I LOVE THIS ONE A LOT OKAY DON'T JUDGE NO HATE**

**"THAT CAME OUT WRONG"**


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